The Vicious Circle of Tinder – Why Getting Matches is so Much Harder for Guys

There is a reason why Tinder seems to have a higher difficulty setting for men, and it’s not just because women tend to be pickier.

If you’re a guy – and not part of the Hemsworth family – the game of Tinder can be a frustrating one. Especially if you count your matches, or stare at the space where they should appear, and then read about how many women get 2’000 likes a day and can basically match with any guy in their queue if they want to.

To make things even more frustrating, match rates have dropped massively for everyone in the past years, as it very much seems Tinder reduces your “organic” visibility more and more with each feature they add to their premium plans. I mean, why pay for boosts if you get enough likes already, right?

But while there are certainly things you can do to improve your standing with Tinder’s algorithm and increase your match rate, you’ll never have it as easy as the other side does. At least as far as receiving likes goes.

The Reason Getting Matches on Tinder is so Much Harder for Guys

Yes, it’s true that women, by and large, are pickier than men on Tinder. It’s also likely that there are fewer (seriously interested) girls on the app than guys. But those things alone don’t lead to the gross imbalance we see. What is and has been happening is that –

  1. Guys get on Tinder and quickly find they don’t get as many matches as they expected, or hardly any.
    Girls get on Tinder and quickly find themselves drowning in matches.
  2. Guys lower their standards in the hopes of getting some/more matches.
    Girls raise their standards because they really don’t have time to talk to all these matches, and well, because they can.
  3. Guys, after spending days swiping and not getting (m)any matches to show for it, get frustrated and start swiping right on everybody because it’s easier to sort through the matches they do get. What they don’t realize is that they are ruining their score and getting shadowbanned by Tinder for this behavior.
    Girls find they still match with nigh every guy they swipe right on, so they get even pickier and basically only swipe on the guys of their dreams, or extremely interesting profiles. Usually this leaves them with an extensive list of matches that are not showing all that much interest.
  4. The circle continues…

So what can you do to break the cycle?

The answer for the guys is as obvious as it might seem unhelpful (at first): Stop the indiscriminate right-spamming! Of course you can say that you alone don’t have the power to change things, and yes, it would take the majority of users playing by the rules and using the app as intended to actually break the vicious circle. But you can do yourself a favor by not bricking your Tinder account with an extremely low elo score for spam-swiping right.

After all, this vicious circle is why the algorithm basically makes you invisible to others for using the app like a bot. If not, Tinder truly would end up as a place for men to just enlist and for women to pick them out of a catalogue of sorts. Swiping right on everybody breaks the game. Why they chose not to make the rules public, however, is open to speculation.

Instead, you should focus on improving your account, score, and thereby your match rate. Whatever you do, no matter how frustrated you get… try to not let it out on any matches you do get.

Finally, if you’re still not seeing the success you were hoping for on Tinder, explore different dating sites and apps. Tinder may be the most popular (yet), but there may be a better match out there for you. If all else fails, there is still the option of approaching and talking to people in real life, but I wouldn’t know anything about that.


  1. I thought I was fairly attractive, 2 days on this app and it tends to purport otherwise. 5 minutes of being bisexual, however, and my self esteem is promptly assuaged by a barrage of eager men, 15 to be precise. So indeed, this app preys upon the innate behaviors typical among each gender respectively.

  2. Hmm wish I had read this a long time ago.

    After a few weeks on tinder I became so depressed and frankly disgusted by women’s behavior I stopped dating entirely.

    In fact it negatively affected my friendships with wwomen and even my political views .

    Online dating is poison.

  3. This why my female friends think men are trash and complain they can’t find decent guys on Tinder. They like the top Elo guys who then end up staying top and so are total players. Meanwhile the men my friends do want to meet are never seen. That’s a dumb algorithm if you ask me.

  4. I Rage Quit Tinder after not getting a single match. I just assumed I wasn’t good enough looking and the girls were stuck up.

  5. Seems to me they are all scams. I tested out a Tinder and three other sites but only posted a profile on Tinder. On the other sites I got 50-60 responses within days and a plethora of e-mail notices asking for money to view them. Considering there was no profile, no photo, nothing except a screen name “Male” and my my age (51) – it is safe to say these were scam connections generated by the host to entice me to “whip out the credit card”. I had heard reasonable things about Tinder so I did post a profile, pics, etc. on Tinder and it produced similar results, 19 “likes” in a matter of an hour that I can only see if I get out my credit card. But, as a test, I decided to look at the profiles of every card in my deck. It took me a week and my settings 25 – 50 years old w/i 30 miles. I found at most 40 profiles I would be interested in connecting with so how is it that 19 women found me in a matter of hours – FYI I am just an average guy, not an Adonis and while someone who looks at my 3rd profile pic could reasonably assume my career choice, I did not post that info. Bottom line, it may have been a decent program at one point, but now Tinder is no different than all the others, they dangle a fake profile carrot generated by the computer to get your money.

  6. I had a tinder account for over a month with over 40 matches. Made a new account a week ago and only have 7. I used a new phone number as well. I used 2 boosts and nothing. I think where I messed up is I swiped when I had the noob boost? Last time I did not swipe at all for 2 days. Can someone help? I heard if you make your setting men and women, it boosts your ELO. Is this true? I tried it and got 30 matches from guys.

  7. As far as checking out other sites. I am on tinder, badoo, bumble, okcupid, POF, and zoosk. I’ll tell you guys right now POF for me is so full of bs scammers. Tinder brought in the most [dates] by far with the least effort, with badoo coming in second place for most [dates] and least effort. Okcupid is 3rd in my experience because you really have to put in the numbers and message 24 girls every day (any more then 24 in 24hrs okcupid will block or ban you). With these 3 apps combined I was able to fill my fri and sat with [dates] for 4 weeks. [redacted]. Bumble and zoosk I got nothing. This is only a month of testing so far. Stay off POF guys!

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