If you’ve been reading the SwipeHelper guides, you should have a good idea about what kind of pictures to use in your online dating profile, or how specifically you should tailor your profile to your dream partner. But what kind of a first message should you send to your matches? Here to you her own take on that question is Sophie, with both her and our first ever SwipeHelper guest post:
How to Write the Perfect First Message on Tinder
So, there I am lying in bed watching yet another Katherine Heigl rom-com and desperately looking for love. It’s Valentine’s Day 2015 and instead of heading out, I decided to stay in my jammies and swipe. After matching with plenty of could-be Mr Right-Now’s and receiving a handful of half-assed pick-up lines and a handful of fantastic openers, I figured that my response had to be just as good to make sure Valentine’s Day 2016 would not be a repeat of this sad scenario.
I can’t begin to express how many times I typed variations of “hey” and “haha” with different emojis, in an attempt to find the one that was both friendly, flirty, and of course fun. Eventually, after getting pretty dreary responses from my plain first messages, I realized that maybe copying and pasting the same thing wasn’t working…
So I changed up my style and here are my top tips for the perfect first message:
Let your personality shine through
Okay so I’m admittedly a bit of a weird kid, but I’d much rather whoever it is knows that from the get-go so that our first date isn’t me playing a 2 hour game of “let’s not let him figure out who you really are”.
Match their level of effort
If someone goes “hey” and you decide to respond with “hey, how are you! I’ve had a really good day today because there was no line at the bus and then I got the perfect double skinny low fat mocha latte”, I’d say the chances are one of you is putting in a little bit more effort than the other. Online dating is really a numbers game, so putting in your maximum effort with every person is just going to wear you out.
Don’t overthink it
Ever sat there wondering whether you should put 3 emojis or none? Yeah… we all have. I think the greatest advice for the perfect first message is that there isn’t one. If you click with someone, you’ll just click. Be yourself, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, and just have a little fun!
Overall, I think if the Internet was a place then Tinder would be a singles bar. You won’t get along with everyone there but new people always end up coming and at the very least you’ll have some interesting conversations and meet some noteworthy people. And hey, if your first message to each other was something totally cringe there’s always another Mr or Ms Right-Now to try again.